17 scripts for difficult conversations at work

Communicating effectively is an important skill for all of us to hone in the workplace. 

Whether you’re chatting around the proverbial watercooler or giving a big presentation, our communication skills can make or break our professional success.

Some conversations, however, require more skill and nuance than others. Setting boundaries with your colleagues, or giving difficult feedback, or asking for a raise – to name just a few examples – might require more skill and nuance than the average interaction.

But don’t worry, we’ve got you covered. We talked to management experts and came up with 17 scripts to help you navigate tricky conversations at work. 

Conversations about work boundaries

When you need to set a new boundary with a colleague: “I’d be happy to [help you with this task]. If you could do me a favor and, next time, send me a quick message when you need me. I promise if I’m busy that I can come up with an ‘on the spot’ alternative solution to assist you. [Then suggest a way to connect briefly, at a time when you can control the duration of the interaction, and at a more convenient time for you].” — Cheryl Haynes, Executive Coach

When you need to set a new boundary with your boss: 

• Option 1:  “I’m mindful of the importance of [meeting regularly / responding to email promptly / team bonding], so I’ve come up with an idea for an approach that I believe can meet both my [personal need] and your [manager’s] expectations.” — Cheryl Haynes, Executive Coach
• Option 2: “If you need to reach me outside normal working hours, please text me with ‘urgent’ in the subject. If it’s truly an emergency, I promise to respond immediately. Otherwise, I won’t respond until 9 a.m. the next working day. Will that work for you?” — Andy Zenkevich, Founder & CEO at Epiic

When you need to reinforce or restate a boundary that’s been ignored: “I may not have been clear earlier, so let me restate my boundary. When [specific behavior] happens, it affects my ability to do [desired outcome]. Can we agree on a new way forward?” — Grace Lee, Executive Coach, Mastery Insights

Conversations about compensation or benefits

When you need to ask for a raise: “I want to talk about my path to a raise. Ideally, we’d look at this as part of my next performance review. Since the last one, I’ve [list accomplishments]. Could we identify some goals to work toward in the next six months? I’d like to come back and show you that I’ve met them.” — Andy Zenkevich, Founder & CEO at Epiic

When you need to negotiate a starting salary or benefits package: 

• Option 1: “Based on the responsibilities of this role and the value I’m positioned to deliver, I believe a starting salary of [specific number] fairly reflects that contribution. I’d like us to begin there as the foundation for our discussion.” — Grace Lee, Executive Coach, Mastery Insights
• Option 2: “I’m thrilled to have been selected as your finalist for the [position]. I’m grateful for the opportunity to join your team and look forward to the possibilities that joining [company name] will provide. However, it was my hope to secure a total compensation package aligned with my research of similar roles in the marketplace. I’d welcome the opportunity to discuss this expectation with you further, as we’re close but not quite in the ballpark that I was expecting.” — Cheryl Haynes, Executive Coach

Conversations about job performance

When you need to apologize for a professional mistake: “I’m so sorry about the issues caused by [my mistake]. I know how critical [project] is for our team. [Explain how your mistake happened.] This mistake was entirely my fault. I should have [done something differently]. I didn’t take the necessary precautions, and that’s on me. Again, I’m so sorry for the disruption I caused. I hope you can accept my apology. To prevent this from happening again, I’m [making these specific changes]. If there are any other steps you think I should take, please let me know. I value our relationship and the trust we’ve built on our team. I hope you’ll forgive this mistake so we can continue working together effectively.” — Kat Boogaard, Contributing Writer, Atlassian 

When you need to give difficult feedback on a project: “Hi, do you have some time for a conversation? There’s something regarding [Project X] that I’d like to discuss. I have some concerns about [Project X’s] timeline. I’ve noticed that you’ve been missing your deadlines, which has been impacting the project’s progress. 

To keep the project on track, we all need to meet our deadlines. [Project X] has been identified as a priority by the leadership team – they’re counting on us, and I want to ensure we complete [Project X] on time.

Is there anything I should know about that is causing you to miss your deadlines? Moving forward, please keep us in the loop about how your deliverables are progressing – especially if it looks like there will be further delays. We can better plan when we know what’s going on and can help you problem-solve to keep [Project X] on track.” — Michelle Rakshys, Vice President, Learning & Development at Cadence Leadership + Communication

Conversations about time off

When you need to take time off in the middle of a big project: “I want to give you plenty of notice that I’ll be out between [date] and [date]. I don’t expect there to be any disruption, because I’ve already put coverage in place. Here’s what will be handled while I’m away, and who to go to if anything comes up.” — Sara Gallagher, President of The Persimmon Group

When you need to take medical or parental leave: 

• Option 1: “I want to continue producing strong results for the team. To do that sustainably, I’ll need [specific leave duration]. I’ve thought through how to manage my responsibilities, and I’d like to discuss a plan that keeps our momentum strong while I’m away.” — Grace Lee, Executive Coach, Mastery Insights
• Option 2: “I’ve always appreciated being a member of this team and [company]’s core values as they relate to its employees. As we know, life happens, and I’ve just learned that [I’m going to be a parent / I must address a serious health issue]. It is with this news that I’m hoping to secure your support as I prepare to apply for a leave of absence related to this life event.” — Cheryl Haynes, Executive Coach

When you want to ask for a sabbatical: “I’m thinking about what’s next for me, and I wanted to share some of that thinking with you. I realize I need to take extended time off [for these reasons], and so I’d like to discuss timing on a sabbatical with you. I’d plan for [X] weeks, and currently have [Y] weeks of vacation to use. The remaining time off would be unpaid. I know this would create a gap for our team, so I’d like your input on how and when we could make this work best. Are you open to this conversation?” — Darcy Eikenberg, Executive Coach, Red Cape Revolution 

Conversations about team conflicts 

When you need to broker peace with your colleagues: 

• Option 1: “It feels like there has been a different energy between us since our last conversation regarding [issue]. Our ability to work collaboratively is important to me and to our ability to deliver for [our team / our manager]. If there was something I said during our last interaction that created this tension I’m sensing, I’d like to discuss it, as my intentions were focused on completing the task at hand and were in no way meant to offend you.” — Cheryl Haynes, Executive Coach
• Option 2: “This situation has gotten tense, and I think part of the reason is that we’re all coming at it from different perspectives. We all ultimately want the same thing: to move forward in a fair and effective way. Before we try to resume our collaboration, I think we’d benefit from just taking some time to share what our priorities are, so we can better understand where everyone’s coming from. So not just what solution you want, but why that’s important to you. If we can understand each other’s priorities, it’ll be much easier to find a solution that works for everyone.” — Phoebe Gavin, Career and Leadership Coach, Better with Phoebe

When you need to address the elephant in the room: “I think we need to focus on the unspoken truth that hasn’t been mentioned, but is clearly impacting our ability to move [this issue / project / conversation] along to a conclusion that we can all rally behind.”  — Cheryl Haynes, Executive Coach

When you need to politely correct someone when they’re wrong: “I want to take another look at [information] you have reported here. Can you walk me through how you landed on [this result]?” 

Then: “I see how you came to that conclusion, but I think it may actually be incorrect. Based on [my evidence], I think [the correct information is X], and here’s how I got there. Can we work on correcting this together?” — Kat Boogaard, Contributing Writer, Atlassian