Welcome to The Long Viewâwhere we peruse the news of the week and strip it to the essentials. Letâs work out what really matters.
This week: JavaScript is a bloated barrier to progress, and Microsoftâs emoji are on GitHub.
1. DC Hates JS; Loves E
First up this week: We need to replace JavaScript with something âdesigned specifically for secure distributed programming.â So says the man behind JSON, Douglas Crockford. He suggests his latest flame, the E language.
Analysis: Big bang change seldom succeeds
Crockford is unlikely to bring devs with him. Nor will browser makers play along. Evolution usually works better than revolution. TypeScript and Wasm are where the action is.
Tim Anderson channels the perp: âThe best thing we can do today to JavaScript is to retire itâ
âFlaws cannot be correctedâ
The worldâs most popular programming languageâŻâŠâŻhas become a barrier to progress, according to Douglas Crockford, creator of the JSONâŻâŠâŻspecification used everywhere for serializing data. ⊠âTwenty years ago, I was one of the few advocates for JavaScript. ⊠But since then, there has been strong interest in further bloating the language instead of making it better.â
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Brendan Eich invented the language for Netscape in 1995: ⊠âIn May I did 10 days of hard work, I didnât sleep much,â Eich [said] in 2018. [He] called the work âa rush jobâ [and said] âI knew there would be mistakes, there would be gaps.â
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Along with increased capabilityâŻâŠâŻJavaScript is evolving with many new featuresâŻâŠâŻthough the demands of compatibility mean that some flaws cannot be corrected, and at the other end feature bloat is a constant risk. ⊠And a typical application today includes a build process using WebPack, Rollup or some other bundler, a long way from Eichâs original concept.
Crockford talks to Iurii Gurzhii:
JavaScript, like the other dinosaur languages, has become a barrier to progress. We should be focused on the next language, which should look more like E than like JavaScript.
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The next languageâŻâŠâŻneeds to be a minimal capability-based actor language that is designed specifically for secure distributed programming. Nothing less should be considered.
Wait, didnât we already fix this problemâwith TypeScript? Thatâs a short-sighted view, says swatcoder:
TypeScript is great: A tremendous improvement over JavaScript and a boon to web development. ⊠But Crockford is looking farther out here. Languages like E are designed for safe concurrency first, which is going to be a huge deal as we continue to see an explosion of processing cores on the client end and highly distributed backend deployments.
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Languages that treat [concurrency] as a central part of their design can require less discipline and can provide smarter automated optimizations. I donât know that E is going to establish itself in that space, but itâs the space weâre headed towards and TypeScript isnât quite the most natural thing to use there.
It would be better than sticking with âidioticâ JavaScript, says u/minus-one:
But heâs kind of right. ⊠Classes and generators and proxies andâŻâŠâŻ”#” private fields (all in a functional language, which, you know, has first class functions that can do all of the above and pretty much everything else).
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Anyway, no one sane uses JS anyway. At the very least people use TypeScript.
Well, what about WebAssembly? Get off Kisaiâs lawn:
What has been largely proposed is compiling things to Wasm, which is a massive mistake. If I had the reins of the internet, Wasm would be on the top of the list of things to get nuked. Why would anyone be so stupid to try and inefficiently cross-compile something into a pseudo-assembly language that is hamstrung by JavaScript itself. That is so utterly stupid.
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Now Flash has been replaced by “the canvas tag,” [so] you now need a 300MB browser just to play a game written in JavaScript that uses nothing but the Canvas tag. That is stupid. ⊠The Canvas tag itself is stupid. We had SVG, and then decided to re-invent it again.
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The problem isn’t JavaScript, the problem is “the web browser.” ⊠Blame the University of Minnesota for destroying Gopher.
But u/BarelyAirborne shoots the messenger:
I tried reading one of his books. Once. What an insufferable ****.
2. Remix Microsoftâs Emoji
Microsoft has slapped an MIT License on its 1,500-strong âFluentâ 3D emoji set. First seen in Teams, then adopted by Windows 11, Redmond now wants you to build on them.
Analysis: Because ⊠hybrid work???
Microsoft says itâs doing this because of how work is changing. I guess this justification makes as much sense as anything else.
Tom Warren: Microsoft open sources its 3D emoji
âRemote and hybrid workâ
Microsoft is open sourcing more than 1,500 of its 3D emoji, making them free for creators to remix and build upon. Almost all of Microsoftâs 1,538 emoji library will be available on Figma and GitHubâŻâŠâŻin a move that Microsoft hopes will encourage more creativity and inclusivity in the emoji space.
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Creators will be able to take most of Microsoftâs bright and colorful 3D emoji and remix them into stickers, use them in content, or create unique sets of emoji. ⊠Microsoftâs design teams are now looking forward to seeing how the community of creators builds on its library of emoji.
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Part of the reason Microsoft says itâs open sourcing its emojiâŻâŠâŻis the changing state of work. Remote and hybrid work has forced businesses and employees to work differently, and how you express yourself through text has become even more important.
The lineage is from the Teams product. Take off every Zig Justice:
They hit us in Teams a little while ago. ⊠They’re universally loathed over here.
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Have you seen their miserable excuse for an octopus? I have no idea what it is, but I sure as hell know what it’s not: An octopus. ⊠Cephalopods rule! Someone at Microsoft deserves to be punished for that travesty.
Kindly vacate the grassed yard area belonging to this Anonymous Coward:
Emoji are rapidly the primaryâŻâŠâŻmeans of expressing themselves for an increasing number of perpetually smartphone-bound people. The people who are best kept busy lest they open their mouths and say uncouth stuff other peopleâthose with highly-tuned, avant-garde sensibilitiesâmay or may not like, possibly-maybe.
The Moral of the Story:
The Devil hath power to assume a pleasing shape
You have been reading The Long View by Richi Jennings. You can contact him at @RiCHi or [email protected].
Image: Thomas de Luze (via Unsplash; leveled and cropped)





